In class on Monday I was talking to this guy Colin about another classmate and he said, "Oh, that guy's always blogging in class. I hate blogs. Don't you?" Uhm. Of course I completely betrayed myself and nodded. Colin got kind of fired up about it: "Yeah, I mean, why do I want to read all the boring crap you do all day?"

It's a good question.

Drew is back. I missed school this morning to pick him up at the airport. Now I'm frantically trying to finish listening to the lectures online so I don't fall too far behind. We're heading to NYC tomorrow to see Molly and Larry and meet their new baby and to go to our friend Helene's 40th birthday party.

I'm exhausted right now. Physically. Emotionally. But I'm working through things. Trying to show some self-discipline in all areas. Failing to a certain degree in every one of those areas but at least I'm still trying.

They chose me to be a tour guide. My reaction when I got the email: "Oh. Crap." I like the idea of getting involved in school stuff, but once they start talking about mandatory meetings I just want to go back to being an antisocial hyper-studier.

I'm holding out hope that my 86 on the first exam isn't going to be a total disaster. According to Shara, the average score is going to be pretty low. It's a fairly unscientific way to assess the situation; she basically just talked to a handful of people who normally do well and claims they all did worse than me. I'm not sure when we'll find out what really happened. I'm still guessing I'm in the upper part of "pass". And "high pass" is going to be difficult to reach now, and "honors" is going to be impossible.

I sent an email to the coordinator of a healthcare for the homeless project in the city. I miss the shelter in Pasadena. I'm hoping I can find something worthwhile to do outside of school and outside of my own emotional issues. The less time I spend on this campus, the better. For several reasons. I've also been thinking about doing a mentor program again, because I also miss Nicholas. Maybe I should just send him a letter; that wouldn't require me giving up my hyper-studying lifestyle.

Shit. I have to listen to another lecture.