yesterday, d___ and i invited three of his friends to breakfast. we were planning to go to auntie em's. unfortunately, his friend chris had other ideas. when i told d___, he was just as unhappy about it as i was. i said "well we can't be in control all the time." d___ giggled and said "but i like being in control. put on my shoes." as i was tying the laces, i thought about how nice it's been to take a turn in the passenger seat with d___. when left to my own devices i tend to be a dictator. i literally never ride in the passenger seat because i can't handle letting other people determine my comings and goings. if my friends and my sister weren't around to put a check on my natural impulses, i'd probably be the guy at the supermarket who yells at people for having more than ten items in the express lane.

d___ and i have a perfect ratio of agreements-to-disagreements when it comes to basic things like where to eat, when to wake up, who to hang out with, etc.. enough agreements to make it manageable; enough disagreements to force ourselves out of our regular routines.

i've found a great release for my need to be in total control: "writing" for reality television. although we're not allowed to "completely misrepresent" someone, we're told to "own" the material -- not to let the material own us. a very common practice is something called "frankensteining". that's when you take an interview bite and rearrange the words to construct the sentence you need. for example...

girl: "i feel really good about the elimination. i mean, i know a lot of the girls are really nervous, but i just think there are a lot of people who deserve to be eliminated before me."

now i don't want to "completely misrepresent" this girl, but i really don't buy what she's saying here. i see fear in her eyes.

girl (edited): "i feel... really nervous // about the elimination."

if only i could do that in real life.

me: "d___ and i want to go to auntie em's."

chris: "oh, well i'd really rather go somewhere with a big dining room since it's raining if that's okay."

chris (edited): "oh... okay."