yesterday morning at around eleven o'clock, i had an important moment of self-awareness. it happened quickly, and although i started to draw attention to it ("d___, these people must think i'm a total..."), i quickly retreated and let the moment pass. because i was actually more concerned about what i thought of myself in that moment than what the people sitting at the next table thought of me, and i needed time to reflect.

d___ and i were sitting at a sidewalk table in front of our favorite breakfast place. i was eating a spinach & egg scramble and we were reading the newspaper. within fifteen seconds i made both of the following comments:

- "d___, read maureen dowd's column."
- "i think 'fontina' is my new favorite cheese."

okay. eww. i don't mind being a snob. and i don't think these statements are totally reprehensible, but i am very concerned about how quickly the one statement followed the other. that. is alarming.