It seems like I just started.

Then I think back to our road trip from Los Angeles to Philadelphia and it seems like a different life. We've changed so much. I had no idea what was coming: all the anxiety, the pressure, the excitement, all the nights lying on the floor of the school's study rooms drawing flowcharts and making flashcards, all the pre-dawn morning drives to the hospital (or home from the hospital)... and now it's nearly over. One more year and I'll be finished.

It's exciting having these milestones to look forward to. I don't know if my classmates appreciate it because when you're 25 you're used to having preset markers (16, 18, 21, college graduation) that give your life a certain shape and meaning.

I have to admit, though, that if I were to hit rewind and go back to America's Next Top Model I don't know if I could do all this again. One of my fellow story editors was dating a doctor back then who was just getting ready to retire. One day she was on the phone with him in my office and she said "My friend here is getting ready to go back to school for his pre-med requirements." There was a pause then she looked up at me and smiled: "He says he hopes you've got a lot of energy."

It's been a drain for sure. I'm only 75% done, but isn't that a solid 'C'? Can't I pass with that? If I stop working now can I still be a doctor?

Last night I didn't fall asleep until 4:00am. It's hard for me to fall asleep when Drew isn't here (he's in L.A. visiting his family; I fly there tomorrow night). I really need to go to bed soon. My final exam of third year is in 8 hours and 22 minutes. And then... one more year to go.