Happy context
This week during a psychiatry lecture we learned about the concept of context-dependent memory. Basically it just means that the context in which you learn something can best be remembered in that same context. Our lecturer said (jokingly, I think): "If you're really bored by this lecture then you should try to be really bored during the exam. Because studies show that will help you remember it."
When you're happy it's easy to remember all the things in your life that make you happy. When you're sad it can seem like your life is a series of miseries. That's part of the reason I write this blog. I want to make a record of my whole journey through school, because it's hard to remember how horribly difficult things like this are once they're over and it's equally hard to remember how much fun they can be.
This week was a good week. I worked harder and more efficiently than I have in a while. I went to Harrisburg and spoke up for something I believe in, I made some new friends on that trip, I did very well on my final (although I don't know the average yet, I felt that that test was damn hard and I still got a 90%), and I got elected to student government.
When I decided to go to Harrisburg I figured I was pretty much dropping out of the race for class rep. People who wanted to run had to write a 75-word statement and then give a 2-minute speech on Monday. But I chose to go to the capitol instead. I tried to have my name removed from the ballot but was told that I had a valid excuse for missing the speech and so they would still let me run. I replied to that offer saying I didn't think that was fair to my friends who were nervous about giving speeches. I thought it would lead to a lot of resentment. But then I thought "What if no one from our class even goes to LISTEN to those speeches? What if my friends back out at the last minute because they're too scared to get up in front of the class?" That was my justification for not sending that email and staying on the ballot, anyway. But deep down I'm just competitive and want to be more involved in school stuff.
I have to admit I was shocked that I was elected. That's not false modesty. I was seriously shocked. I remember running for student council in junior high with my friend Marti. At least I think it was junior high. When we lost, Marti's dad made some joking comment about us being smart kids but not popular kids. Which was 100% accurate. We were not popular. In high school Marti's mom, an English teacher, was the faculty sponsor for student council. This was fifteen years ago, so I'm pretty sure she wouldn't mind me saying this: I think Marti's Mom felt that 99% of the class reps were dumbasses. She wanted a different crowd to get involved, so somehow Marti and I got in that year. I can't remember exactly what strings were pulled. I think it was basically the way her Mom closed the nominating process: she told us to submit our names and then pretty much shut down the process. Something like that. Now that I'm looking back on it, I think that was probably more for my benefit than Marti's. Marti was pretty popular at that point. I, however, was not.
It's laughable that I'm thinking about that race in comparison to this one. I guess it's a big deal for me just because I feel like I beat out ten other people (15 ran, 5 won) by being myself. I didn't act like a nicer person than I am. I was open about my sexuality, even to the religious cliques and the homophobic few. And somehow people still voted for me. It's a pretty nice feeling, I must say.
When you're happy it's easy to remember all the things in your life that make you happy. When you're sad it can seem like your life is a series of miseries. That's part of the reason I write this blog. I want to make a record of my whole journey through school, because it's hard to remember how horribly difficult things like this are once they're over and it's equally hard to remember how much fun they can be.
This week was a good week. I worked harder and more efficiently than I have in a while. I went to Harrisburg and spoke up for something I believe in, I made some new friends on that trip, I did very well on my final (although I don't know the average yet, I felt that that test was damn hard and I still got a 90%), and I got elected to student government.
When I decided to go to Harrisburg I figured I was pretty much dropping out of the race for class rep. People who wanted to run had to write a 75-word statement and then give a 2-minute speech on Monday. But I chose to go to the capitol instead. I tried to have my name removed from the ballot but was told that I had a valid excuse for missing the speech and so they would still let me run. I replied to that offer saying I didn't think that was fair to my friends who were nervous about giving speeches. I thought it would lead to a lot of resentment. But then I thought "What if no one from our class even goes to LISTEN to those speeches? What if my friends back out at the last minute because they're too scared to get up in front of the class?" That was my justification for not sending that email and staying on the ballot, anyway. But deep down I'm just competitive and want to be more involved in school stuff.
I have to admit I was shocked that I was elected. That's not false modesty. I was seriously shocked. I remember running for student council in junior high with my friend Marti. At least I think it was junior high. When we lost, Marti's dad made some joking comment about us being smart kids but not popular kids. Which was 100% accurate. We were not popular. In high school Marti's mom, an English teacher, was the faculty sponsor for student council. This was fifteen years ago, so I'm pretty sure she wouldn't mind me saying this: I think Marti's Mom felt that 99% of the class reps were dumbasses. She wanted a different crowd to get involved, so somehow Marti and I got in that year. I can't remember exactly what strings were pulled. I think it was basically the way her Mom closed the nominating process: she told us to submit our names and then pretty much shut down the process. Something like that. Now that I'm looking back on it, I think that was probably more for my benefit than Marti's. Marti was pretty popular at that point. I, however, was not.
It's laughable that I'm thinking about that race in comparison to this one. I guess it's a big deal for me just because I feel like I beat out ten other people (15 ran, 5 won) by being myself. I didn't act like a nicer person than I am. I was open about my sexuality, even to the religious cliques and the homophobic few. And somehow people still voted for me. It's a pretty nice feeling, I must say.
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