Three things annoy me when I'm reading a blog: (1) a dearth of updates, (2) a plethora of apologies for the dearth of updates, and (3) the inevitable "identity crisis" posting in which the blogger ruminates on why he/she writes a blog in the first place (which is usually promptly followed by a permanent signoff). So since I'm guilty of offense #1, I'm going to do my best to avoid #2 and #3.

That said, I realize that my entries are often just about me chastising myself for being fat and chastising myself for being lazy. But it's hard, when I sit down to write something about myself or my life, not to slip from description to prescription. I don't know if that annoys people or not, but I've decided that in order to avoid #3 above, I should just accept it as fact and invite you to pass on the prescriptive, self-help lectures I give myself.

Today's self-flagellation: lazy fatness (a two-for-one). Last night, as I sat up watching television at 10:30 drinking my third glass of red wine and dipping rolled up pieces of provolone into a jar of Nutella, I started thinking that maybe I wasn't taking very good care of myself. So today I've decided that for the next two weeks I will...

Not drink alcohol of any kind

Eat five small meals a day

Avoid sweets

Drink the recommended amount of water every day

Start my marathon training

I figure that two weeks of this kind of boot camp treatment will make it easier to transition into a less rigid, but still healthy lifestyle. It's much easier for me to go cold-turkey from Nutella than it is to phase it out.