Maybe that "auf wiedersehen" was actually for you guys. I don't know what happened. I got caught up in school and my volunteer stuff and oh my god who cares blah blah blah boring boring. Here I am. I hate it when stupid bloggers stop updating and then you get all these stupid apologies. Who cares.

Okay.

I'm stuck. I spent all day yesterday emailing and reading silly internet crap. If Jana hadn't invited me to dinner I wouldn't have left the house. I can't get motivated. I got an A on an organic chemistry test and now I just feel like coasting into finals. Not out of laziness (I don't think) but because I'm really not sure how to handle what comes AFTER finals.

These are the tasks before me (which I write here not because they're of any interest to you, but because I need to face the fact that there is, in fact, a list):
--Register for an MCAT prep class. Which is about $1600. Which I will have to charge on my 19%APR credit card.
--Harass the film professor from Columbia about the letter of rec he agreed to write for me. Even though he barely remembers who I am. (I left an awfully embarrassing voicemail for him yesterday. Hold on -- let me check my cellphone voicemail. Maybe he's called me back. NOPE. Ugh. I hate following up with people.)
--Decide (before June 1) which med schools I'm applying to.
--Figure out what requirements those schools have that I haven't yet fulfilled.
--Figure out how to fulfill them. Without taking out another $15k in loans.
--Revise my personal statement before May 1.
--Figure out how to support myself over the next year.

Oh my god what kind of stupid-ass list is this??? Why does becoming an MD have to be so difficult? Or, rather, why does it have to be so fucking expensive???

Okay. I'm going to re-order that list and then just work my way through it.

Thanks, guys. If you're still reading. God knows my boyfriend isn't. He probably got to the list and rolled his eyes and thought "Jesus. More whining." Hehe.