these are the only parts i haven't finished... but they're pretty important. and i can't seem to figure out how to come up with answers that make me feel confident i'll be accepted.

"If you have been out of school for more than one year, please briefly describe what you have been doing. If you have an extensive employment record, you may attach your resumé."

okay. PROBLEM. let's see... i worked at a talent agency for five months (until one of the agents threatened to kill me and i swallowed a bottle of advil in a pathetic -- yet successful -- attempt to get out of working for him.) i worked for a film director for five months who tasked me with fabricating a document for his divorce proceedings and then fired me because he thought (incorrectly) that i told his girlfriend that he was fucking the makeup girl. i worked for a screenwriter for eleven months who depended on me to remind her when she should insert a new estring into her vagina. now i work on a reality t.v. show.

if that doesn't scream "future physician" i don't know what does.

"On a separate page, please tell us why you wish to enter our Postbaccalaureate Premedical Program. Please limit your statement to one page."

everything i write sounds so fucking corny. corny and then defensive (because i get freaked out that they'll already be thinking of me as "reality tv guy").

I HATE THIS. SOMEONE SAVE ME.