I had a good day of studying Friday, a great day of studying Saturday, and then today it all fell apart.

Oh well. The test isn't until Wednesday. I guess it's probably good not to peak too early.

I took a practice test today and felt craptastic about it (I got a 91%). I realize the score was decent, but considering how much work I've put into this exam, getting 1/10 questions wrong wasn't exactly the performance I was looking for.

Then, because I'm such a big baby, I was too depressed to push through and study more than 3 hours.

Tomorrow's my birthday. I'm going to be 31. A few days ago I asked my Grandpa how old he thought I was and he said 26. It does seem like I should be 26 given the state of my life. I asked him what he was doing when he was 31. He and Grandma said that by that point they had bought their second house, they had three kids, and Grandpa said he was working 15-hour days 7 days a week.

They were coming from a different place, obviously. It's not fair to compare. But that disparity in our positions is interesting (his in 1958 and mine today). I wonder what my life would be like if I had been born heterosexual. Would I have had such a strong desire to move away for college? Would I be married to a woman and raising kids by now? Would I have taken the safer route in college and gone premed? I think I probably would have indulged my desire to go into politics, which would have been disastrous considering how annoyed I get with people. What am I talking about? That's not exactly a great quality in a doctor, either. I just feel like politicians have to have more charm and less snarkiness than I have. (Although I gotta say Hillary seems pretty damn snarky.)

Thirty-one. Jesus. I think my parents divorced at 32 after 15 years of marriage. I'm seriously deep into some serious adulthood territory here.

I'm going to eat some cake now.