This morning I had to stop at an ATM to get subway-token funds. I've been mindful of taking cash out of my checking account because I don't want to run out of student loan "money" before January.

But I haven't been so good at checking my balance online, so I was thrown into a vortex of anxiety when my request for $20 was rejected with the it-ain't-my-problem message "Contact your bank."

AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Contact my what?!?! WHY????

This is how I imagined that going:

Me: "I tried to get some money and was told to call you."

Bank: "You don't have any money."

[Awkward pause]

Me: "Okay, thanks." CLICK.

How could this have happened? I considered going home and crawling back into bed, but I had a mandatory class meeting this afternoon so I used a credit card to pull out $40. Which is, you know, one of those highly-recommended financial moves.

As I walked to the subway I started to get emotional. How was I going to support myself? How was I going to concentrate on my classes?

I couldn't tell Drew, because he's in the midst of applying for a job and I didn't want my money issues to figure into any decision about whether or not he should take it if it's offered.

I decided that I needed to return the running stuff my mom bought me this weekend so I could at least make my November credit card payment. Then maybe I'd get enough birthday scratch to make it until December, when telling Drew might not be such an issue.

As I got off the subway at school I felt like crying. I forced myself to get on my phone and check my bank balance.

I had more than enough money in my account. There must have been something wrong with that ATM.