okay, thanks mom. I guess.
Applying to medical school is such a strange process. Every school has too many good applicants, so candidates end up frantically applying to too many schools so they'll be assured a spot which just ensures that every school has too many good applicants.
Pretty much everyone who applies knows this. Still, no matter how many times I've explained it to friends and family they don't seem to understand.
The fact that I didn't get into UCLA is not a shock to me. They accept less than 3% of their applicants. A lot of this is just luck and timing -- getting your application into the right hands before the class is filled up.
I will cop to being upset about UCSF when I got that letter a few months ago. I really wanted to move to San Francisco and I like that school a lot; it came highly recommended by many doctors I respect. I will also admit that I took that rejection personally. I didn't even get a chance to fill out their secondary application. That sucked.
But UCLA, Columbia... those didn't surprise me and I didn't take those rejections personally. So maybe I just shouldn't have said anything to anyone. Because some people are reacting in ways that are pissing me off. For instance, my mom just called to say this:
"Well, just remember, at least you got in somewhere." Uh... okay. Thanks.
"Mom, I'm really not upset about the school. Drew and I are upset because now we definitely have to move. We don't have the option to stay now."
"I know. And I know you're disappointed. But at least you got in somewhere."
Really? Twice you're gonna say that to me?
I know she thinks that sounds supportive. But what the fuck? I can hear other people saying "But she means well." But honestly that's not very smooth of her, is it? It's borderline offensive.
I was upset yesterday because I didn't want to have to tell Drew about it and there were lots of other headaches to deal with once I got that letter. But I wasn't upset just now when she called me out of the blue to offer that thinly-veiled criticism of the school that's already accepted my application. So, you know, save your words of wisdom for when they're needed.
It's amazing to see people reveal themselves through the things they say. Last night Drew kept telling me I'm smart. I'd say "Yeah I am." I guess he was telling me what he thought I needed to hear. Or maybe what he'd want someone to say to him if he had gotten that rejection letter.
My mom hasn't really experienced anything in her career that you might characterize as failure. She went to nursing school through our local community college and then spent the next twenty years being promoted and getting raises. Plus, she's very competitive. The whole family knows about her first grade music teacher who told her she couldn't sing. She's still hurt and pissed about that. So I guess to her a letter that begins with "We regret to inform you" is one of the worst things that could ever happen.
For me, I feel like I took an unusual path to medicine and not everyone is going to appreciate that. I didn't live my life to get into medical school. And I wouldn't do things differently, really. I probably wouldn't have taken calculus in college (or I would have done more homework and smoked less pot) but other than that I feel good about where I am and what's gotten me here.
I do wish that Drew didn't have to move. Part of me wants to say that it'll be good for him, but maybe that's just a way of justifying forcing him to do it. I need this relationship to stay strong, and I can't take for granted that it can survive anything. I'm protective of it. But now the only choice we have is to move, so we'll just have to deal with that and try to make it as seamless and stress-free as it can be.
Pretty much everyone who applies knows this. Still, no matter how many times I've explained it to friends and family they don't seem to understand.
The fact that I didn't get into UCLA is not a shock to me. They accept less than 3% of their applicants. A lot of this is just luck and timing -- getting your application into the right hands before the class is filled up.
I will cop to being upset about UCSF when I got that letter a few months ago. I really wanted to move to San Francisco and I like that school a lot; it came highly recommended by many doctors I respect. I will also admit that I took that rejection personally. I didn't even get a chance to fill out their secondary application. That sucked.
But UCLA, Columbia... those didn't surprise me and I didn't take those rejections personally. So maybe I just shouldn't have said anything to anyone. Because some people are reacting in ways that are pissing me off. For instance, my mom just called to say this:
"Well, just remember, at least you got in somewhere." Uh... okay. Thanks.
"Mom, I'm really not upset about the school. Drew and I are upset because now we definitely have to move. We don't have the option to stay now."
"I know. And I know you're disappointed. But at least you got in somewhere."
Really? Twice you're gonna say that to me?
I know she thinks that sounds supportive. But what the fuck? I can hear other people saying "But she means well." But honestly that's not very smooth of her, is it? It's borderline offensive.
I was upset yesterday because I didn't want to have to tell Drew about it and there were lots of other headaches to deal with once I got that letter. But I wasn't upset just now when she called me out of the blue to offer that thinly-veiled criticism of the school that's already accepted my application. So, you know, save your words of wisdom for when they're needed.
It's amazing to see people reveal themselves through the things they say. Last night Drew kept telling me I'm smart. I'd say "Yeah I am." I guess he was telling me what he thought I needed to hear. Or maybe what he'd want someone to say to him if he had gotten that rejection letter.
My mom hasn't really experienced anything in her career that you might characterize as failure. She went to nursing school through our local community college and then spent the next twenty years being promoted and getting raises. Plus, she's very competitive. The whole family knows about her first grade music teacher who told her she couldn't sing. She's still hurt and pissed about that. So I guess to her a letter that begins with "We regret to inform you" is one of the worst things that could ever happen.
For me, I feel like I took an unusual path to medicine and not everyone is going to appreciate that. I didn't live my life to get into medical school. And I wouldn't do things differently, really. I probably wouldn't have taken calculus in college (or I would have done more homework and smoked less pot) but other than that I feel good about where I am and what's gotten me here.
I do wish that Drew didn't have to move. Part of me wants to say that it'll be good for him, but maybe that's just a way of justifying forcing him to do it. I need this relationship to stay strong, and I can't take for granted that it can survive anything. I'm protective of it. But now the only choice we have is to move, so we'll just have to deal with that and try to make it as seamless and stress-free as it can be.
Labels: Drew, Medical School, Mom
1 Comments:
at least you have a mother. some people don't even have that. some people are orphans, even.
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