Subway
Quiz #2 is tomorrow. Today was exhausting. I went to class and then lab and then I studied for eight hours. Drew's tired and wants to go to sleep but I need some time to unwind. I have to write this quickly, though. It's almost 11:00 and I need to be up by 6:00.
This morning when I got down into the subway station the express train was on the adjacent track. I'd never taken it before, but I saw some classmates on it so I thought I'd give it a shot. It was a bit awkward because I've never talked to them and I was so tired and all I wanted to do was watch an embryology lecture on my iPhone. So I didn't talk to them. I smiled at the one girl I recognized from anatomy lab, but I never said a word. Is that rude?
I don't know. I have a large group of people I'm friendly with and I just can't keep up the chitchat all the time with everyone else. There's so much anxiety out there (I've got lots of it, too) and usually people want to bond over that. Which isn't exactly what I want to deal with at 7:15 in the morning.
It got more awkward when we got to our stop, though, because I'd never been to that subway station so I didn't know where to go. So I pretended to search through my bag for something (or maybe I just took my time putting my iPhone away) so one of my classmates could take the lead. Then when I saw what direction they were heading I just took off and walked to school alone.
At the time it just seemed like an example of my social discomfort. Now that I've typed it all out I just seem like a jerk.
On that note, I have to try to get to sleep now.
This morning when I got down into the subway station the express train was on the adjacent track. I'd never taken it before, but I saw some classmates on it so I thought I'd give it a shot. It was a bit awkward because I've never talked to them and I was so tired and all I wanted to do was watch an embryology lecture on my iPhone. So I didn't talk to them. I smiled at the one girl I recognized from anatomy lab, but I never said a word. Is that rude?
I don't know. I have a large group of people I'm friendly with and I just can't keep up the chitchat all the time with everyone else. There's so much anxiety out there (I've got lots of it, too) and usually people want to bond over that. Which isn't exactly what I want to deal with at 7:15 in the morning.
It got more awkward when we got to our stop, though, because I'd never been to that subway station so I didn't know where to go. So I pretended to search through my bag for something (or maybe I just took my time putting my iPhone away) so one of my classmates could take the lead. Then when I saw what direction they were heading I just took off and walked to school alone.
At the time it just seemed like an example of my social discomfort. Now that I've typed it all out I just seem like a jerk.
On that note, I have to try to get to sleep now.
Labels: Medical School
1 Comments:
thanks for blogging. i enjoy reading it. sorry you are so stressed out. i can't even imagine. you don't sound like a jerk at all on subway story. just pre-occupied. anxious. i hope your quiz went well. sending you love.
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