A couple days ago while going through some old college papers I found a very old edition of my friend Katie's resume. She had created it around the time of our college graduation. Wanting to steer herself away from the food industry jobs of her past and show off her smarts to potential employers, she listed major projects she had worked on while in school. Looking at it this week, I thought to myself how different our experiences of college were.

Katie had a very clear point of view while we were in school. I feel like she came to freshman year knowing who she was, extremely confident in herself, and while she was open to new ideas she looked at all her classwork from a very specific perspective. I was not like that. When I look at my college files (a hanging file for each course I took) I see how much I was groping in college. Neuropsychology, the History of the English Language, The History of China to 1900, the History of China 1900-present, Silent Screen Film -- I'm all over the place. When I look at papers, particularly from freshman year, it was obvious I had no idea what I was doing, what I was thinking, or why I was even in the class.

It's not that this is necessarily new information to me; I've always known that I had a very different experience of college than Katie. I'm also not necessarily regretful of the classes I took or the way I studied. I did the best I could at the time. I was groping for something Katie had already found. And because of that, I couldn't really believe in myself. I wanted to, I thought very highly of myself, but that's not quite the same thing. If you're in a tough, competitive academic environment you'd better know what you want and work hard to get it. It requires some real chutzpah. I had very little.

I have it now. I have a pretty strong commitment in my mind to what I like and don't like about the healthcare industry. I'm trying to stay open to finding the right career path, the right specialty (if I specialize), but I have criteria for myself that are immutable, undeniable, and I will not be swayed from them.

In college I thought about what was happening that day or that week. Now I'm focusing on what will happen to me in four years, seven years, fifteen years. And I think if I focus on my post-graduation resume, what accomplishments I want to see there and where I want it to take me, I'll be in good shape.