Yesterday as I was washing dishes I started answering an advice column in my head. One of my imaginary advice-seekers was asking how he could quit bickering with his boyfriend so much. My wise response was this: when your boyfriend says something that makes you want to screech, stop yourself and take a minute to ask "Am I mad because he's really being a prick or am I mad because I think what he's saying is true and it's burning me up?"

Tonight at a birthday party, Drew jokingly referred to my "fat ass." He had had two beers and was trying to squeeze into the chair I was using so we could sit together. He was totally joking, but I had had two Diet Dr. Peppers (wink) and didn't take it very well.

I shouldn't let it bother me, because I'm really not overweight. Okay, I've put on 5-10 pounds since Drew and I started dating. But I spend far too much time thinking and talking about that.

I'm hoping this entry purges (wink wink) my totally boring, totally cliche obsession so that I quit wasting time and energy on it. And so that I don't pick a fight with Drew when he comes home from the party. (I had to leave early to finish up my chemistry homework.)

Even if he wasn't joking, I know that the only reason I got so pissed about it was because I think it's true. I know this because I had this exact same fight with the Canadian. We were at a party together when he patted my gut and made a joke about how there was "more of me to love." No. Scratch that. The Canadian was just being an asshole.

Anyway, I'm not straight fat. I'm gay fat.

Ugh. Regardless of how fat I am, I still have twelve chemistry problems to work out tonight.

C'mon... learn with me: "Diamond is a natural form of pure carbon. How many atoms of carbon are in a 1.00-carat diamond (1.00 carat - 0.200g)?" (The answer will be on the next posting).